


butterflies

by HC05



Series: aroverse [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A bit of swearing, Aromantic, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Jisung, Jisung figuring out that he’s aro, amatonormativity, and finally learns about aromanticism, and finds the answer he’s been waiting for, and jaemin, and so is donghyuck, aromantic jaemin, arophobia, asexual jeno, donghyuck is an ass at first but changes, donghyuck learns about aromanticism for jisung, donghyuck loves to game, he loves nature, he's also a good cook, jaehyun is mentioned for five seconds, jisung calls donghyuck a bogan, jisung is in an lgbt+ group, jisung is in uni, jisung learns that its ok to not have crushes, jisung meets jaemin through the lgbt+ group, lots of explicit mentions regarding food, mentions, nomin in a qpr, not too much though this is safe, renjun is a bartender, set in australia, side markhyuck, the uni has an arcade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26485798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HC05/pseuds/HC05
Summary: Jisungs' journey to figuring himself out begins when he meets aromantic Jaemin.orAn aromantic meets another aromantic.
Series: aroverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925494
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> hello welcome to my first work for aroverse! if you don’t know me personally, i’m grey-aromantic and think there needs to be more aro representation so i’m making a series on here for aro centred fics called aroverse!!!! it’s going to explore and explain many different sides of aromanticism and how every aromantic person experiences it differently
> 
> i hope you enjoy aro jisung 🥰

The prospect of falling in love with someone was something Jisung constantly thought about. He typically wondered what it was like, but sometimes how you knew you were in love was clouding his thoughts. 

Jisung has tried to be in love, but he never felt the way others told him he should. They told him his stomach should be filled with butterflies, his heart should race, and he should blush, but none of those things ever happened. Jisung wanted them to happen, but they just _didn’t._

Actually, he’d never bothered with romance until he hit high school, and suddenly everyone around him was running around and giggling about the phenomenon of crushes. He paid no attention to it; it didn’t interest him, and he didn’t see a problem with being disinterested. He had his life in order — well, he most definitely didn’t have his life _in order_ because he still stressed about school, the future, _his_ future, and the tiny pimples scattered across his face.

At least he wasn’t fussed about stupid butterflies, right?

According to everyone else, that was wrong.

Jisung was in the tenth grade when the question first popped up. “Who was your first crush?”

  
  
“I’ve never had a crush.” He responded with a shrug. He didn’t even know the person who was asking, so even if he _had_ had a crush in the past, why would he tell this random stranger just because they sat beside each other in one class?

“Aw, don’t lie. Everyone’s had a crush before,” He teased, “C’mon man, who was it?”

  
  
Jisung sat in his seat baffled. Why was this person demanding information from him that he didn’t have?

Why were crushes the first thing this person had to ask him? He was sure the guy didn’t even know Jisung’s name. Were crushes _that_ important?

Jisung chose to ignore him, focusing on the lesson even though algebra bored the shit out of him. At least it excited him more than the idea of butterflies in his stomach. He wondered if butterflies in his stomach would be painful at all. Why was it called that, anyway? Butterflies weren’t physically inside of people’s stomachs, right?

The next question came not even a month later. Jisung had joined the school’s novel club as he loved reading, especially poetry, and he wanted to get more involved with one of his only hobbies. He sat in the library with the other pupils when the question was brought into the atmosphere.

“If you could choose one book to give your boyfriend or girlfriend, which one would it be and why?” The teenage girl asked, looking around the circle with an excited look.

Jisung deflated.

He kept going back to the club because he was determined not to let his aversion for crushes get in the way of something he genuinely enjoys.

That night, he lay in bed, reading his favourite book and wondering if he’d ever give it to a significant other. Tears sprung to his eyes when he questioned why love didn’t excite him like people said it should. 

The book went untouched for a few months.

Jisung was in university now; his graduation was spectacular and he loved every moment of it. He was even happier to get through it with a perfect VCE score and a golden entry into Victoria’s top university. He’d never felt more happiness from a single piece of paper before — no book could ever amount to this.

When he got to university, he made a few friends. His roommate even dragged him along to the local LGBTQ+ club that their university had. Jisung enjoyed his time with the group, but he always felt like an outsider.

They always talked about how they’ve had to hide their romantic attraction to the same sex, and Jisung didn’t relate at all. He understood the pain of hiding their true feelings, but their experiences didn’t align and it irked Jisung. If he didn’t like girls, then he was supposed to like boys, right? He tried not to be confused, but when they asked him what his sexuality was, he was beyond confused. He wasn’t gay, he wasn’t straight, so what the hell was he?

Jisung resorted to telling them that he wasn’t sure yet, and they assured him that it was perfectly fine to question his sexuality and if he wanted someone to lean on to help him, they were there for him.

He appreciated their words, but it didn’t comfort him as much as he thought it would. 

His roommate, Donghyuck, dragged him to a bar one night and asked him if he was gay. Jisung shook his head and told Donghyuck that he didn’t know what he was. Donghyuck insisted on helping Jisung, and pointed to a few girls around the bar and told him to state his opinion on them.

“They’re pretty I guess.”

  
  
“Would you kiss them?”

  
  
“No.” Jisung scrunched his nose up at the thought. He’d never kissed someone before, and he didn’t plan on it any time soon. The image always looked gross to him, especially the spit swapping aspect.

“Alright, what about those guys?” Donghyuck pointed to a group of guys who didn’t look appealing at all.

“What about them?” Jisung said, disinterested in the conversation. Romance was boring, and he didn’t know why Donghyuck was trying to figure out if he liked some random people from across a stupid bar. 

“So you don’t like guys or girls.” Donghyuck concluded, “Weird.” He mumbled under his breath, picking up his drink and taking a swig of it.

Jisung ignored his comment, leaning back into his seat and drinking from his glass of whiskey. He didn’t understand how it was weird, but he supposed that it was weird to not like people when everyone around him liked others in that way. 

But it’s not like Jisung lacked love, he loved many things.

He loved that he could call home any time and they’d pick up, he loved his younger siblings who always gave him hugs when they saw him, he loved Friday nights under his blankets as he watched the rain pour outside his window and certainly loved when he got assignments in on time. 

He loved many things, he even loved people, but romance still wasn’t a subject that excited him.

He started watching dating shows to closely study how they acted so he could hopefully replicate it. One day, he decided it was time for him to ‘fall in love’, so he ran into Donghyuck’s room and interrupted the older boy’s game to ask him to set him up on a date. 

“Why so suddenly?” Donghyuck asked, putting his console aside.

“I want to know what it’s like to get those butterflies people always talk about,” Jisung said.

Donghyuck looked at him with pity for a moment, “Jisung, you can’t find that with a random person. If you want to find love, you have to let it come to you, otherwise it won’t feel right. Don’t worry though, one day you’ll find the right person.”

  
  
Donghyuck went back to his game, while Jisung stumbled into his room, dejected and unmotivated. Why did love have to be so strenuous? 

The idea of it all was draining, but Jisung still wanted it — at least that’s what he told himself — because what kind of human would he be if he never experienced love. 

Falling in love was idolised and treated like the key to being human, he was starting to wonder if he was living right. By now, he _should’ve_ fallen in love. He was twenty-three already, and all his friends were either dating or close to someone. Why was he the only one who hadn’t been in love, or even dated someone for a simple amount of time before they realised they weren’t meant to be?

Why was Jisung missing out on such an important aspect of life?

A few months later, Jisung met Jaemin in the LGBTQ+ meetings, and the latter introduced himself to Jisung as aromantic. Jisung didn’t know what it meant but he didn’t want to ask out of respect, so he smiled and introduced himself back. The meeting went fine, and Jisung found himself growing close to Jaemin throughout it. When the meeting ended, Jaemin asked him if he wanted to hang out again sometime, so Jisung gave him his number and was on his way back to his dorm with a new friend in mind.

Later that night, Jisung wondered what aromantic meant, so he made sure to ask Jaemin the next time he saw him. 

Jaemin contacted him a few days later, asking if he wanted to meet up for lunch at the university’s cafeteria. The sun was shining that day, and Jisung walked to the cafeteria with an immense warmth for the beautiful environment surrounding him. He saw some blue butterflies flying around and smiled again. 

When he found Jaemin in the cafe, he sat down and they started talking. Jaemin had his laptop out and he was working on a presentation for one of his classes.

“What’s the presentation about?”

  
  
“It’s for psychology, and it has to be about an emotion,” Jaemin responded. “I ended up with love, which is a bit laughable if you know me.”

  
  
Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what Jaemin meant. Jaemin gave him a pointed look before realising Jisung didn’t understand what he meant. 

“When I told you I’m aromantic,” Jaemin started, “Did you know what that meant?”

  
  
Jisung shook his head. He had been wanting to ask Jaemin about it and even considered googling it, but he wanted to hear it from Jaemin. He didn’t trust Google enough to give him answers when he could just ask what it is from the person himself.

“It means I don’t experience romantic attraction.” Jaemin said, “Like, I’m sure you get crushes and want to be with people romantically because you like them romantically. I don’t experience that, and I never have. It’s called aromantic.”

  
  
Jisung’s heart rate sped up. He couldn’t believe his ears. There was no way that there was a word to explain how he’d felt all this time. _Aromantic._

He liked it.

“Oh,” Jisung responded, “That’s… really nice Jaemin.”

  
  
“Are you sure?” Jaemin chuckled, “You seem a bit shocked, do you have any questions?”

  
  
Jisung blushed, he didn’t expect his feelings to be so obvious and on show. He realised that he blushed and his heart rate had sped up when Jaemin told him what aromantic was, and he internally panicked. He’d always thought those things meant he liked something but liking a word wasn’t a thing, was it?

“Um, no, I don’t have any questions,” Jisung said quickly.

A few moments passed and Jaemin continued to work on his presentation. Jisung looked around the cafeteria, wondering why Jaemin invited him if they weren’t going to get food. He was starting to get a bit hungry, but when he looked around, he noticed everyone was in pairs. Including him and Jaemin. 

The only difference he could see was the other pairs were holding hands, or occasionally kissing each other. Jisung didn’t want to do that with Jaemin.

“Actually I do have a question,” Jisung said. Jaemin gave him a look to proceed, “Have you ever wanted to kiss someone before?”

Jaemin laughed a bit, “No, I haven’t. But I know some aromantic people who enjoy it; kissing doesn’t really define whether I’m aromantic or not because it doesn’t need to be a romantic thing.”

  
  
“Oh okay, that makes sense,” Jisung replied. His thoughts were so jumbled right now. 

Maybe this was what he had been waiting for this whole time, not finding someone to fall in love with. Maybe he didn’t _need_ to experience this thing that everyone else told him he needed.

—

“I think I might be aromantic.” 

Jaemin and Jisung had been hanging out a lot, getting closer and getting to know each other more. They were at the university’s library, doing homework and chatting quietly. Jisung had been researching what aromantic meant for a while now, keeping it secret from everyone else so he could figure out if this is truly what he is.

“Oh, really?” Jaemin smiled, putting his pen down and paying close attention to his friend. Jaemin knew how big of a deal figuring this out was, so he wanted to make sure Jisung wasn’t alone through it like he was.

“Yeah,” Jisung felt a small weight lift off his shoulders, “When you told me what it was, I was honestly shocked that there was a word for it. I wasn’t too sure if it was me, because I’ve gone my whole life wanting to end up with someone, but after research, I don’t think I want that anymore. To be honest, I don’t think it’s what I’ve wanted all along. Do you think you could tell me more about what it means to be aromantic?”

“Well, the first thing is simply not feeling romantic attraction, but that’s probably hard for me to explain because I don’t understand romantic attraction, but ask your friends who do. If what they say confuses you, then you probably don’t feel romantic attraction,” Jaemin explained.

Jisung nodded, listening closely to what his friend had to say. He felt safe as he realised Jaemin knew what he was talking about, and wasn’t going to call him weird for the way he feels.

“But if you want to go deeper, there are many different ways to be aromantic,” He said, “Many aromantic people like kissing and relationships, and many dislike them. There’s obviously an in-between too; I’d say most of the aromantic people universally fit in the middle, but liking relationships or disliking them strongly is completely cool too. For me, I’m in the middle,” He shrugged, “Relationships aren’t vital to my life but I’m not repulsed at the idea of one.”

  
Jisung nodded. He felt the same; he never saw dating as important until others told him that he should see it as important.

“Do you relate to anything so far?”

  
  
“All of it,” Jisung responded.

“Oh,” Jaemin chuckled, “You probably are aromantic then, but that isn’t for me to decide either.”

  
  
Jisung nodded. “Can we get some food now?”

  
  
“Oh my god, food, yes, I forgot about that,” Jaemin shut up his laptop after saving his progress. “Let’s go.” He slid out of his seat and smiled at his friend.

Later that night, Jisung was lying on the couch, working on a small project for his Literature class when Donghyuck approached him. The elder sat next to him and nudged him annoyingly for a while.

“You and Jaemin have been hanging out a lot together lately, what’s going on there?” Donghyuck teased with a sly smirk. Jisung continued typing on his laptop as he made a disapproving face at his roommate.

“We’re friends Donghyuck, nothing else is going on,” Jisung responded, feeling annoyed all of a sudden. He felt good earlier in the day when he could talk about not liking people romantically with Jaemin, so he didn’t like how Donghyuck was trying to turn his close friendship with Jaemin into something that it wasn’t.

“C’mon, you guys are always hanging out,” Donghyuck continued, “Maybe he’s the one.”

  
  
“Fuck off Donghyuck,” Jisung snapped, “I don’t like Jaemin like that, so leave it alone.”

  
  
Donghyuck moved off the couch, “Sorry.” He said before walking out.

Jisung sighed, he felt bad but he also didn’t. He’d been holding that in for ages, and still had more to say but refrained — he didn’t want to upset Donghyuck, but his comments that constantly enforced romance were driving Jisung crazy. He had to deal with it a lot before he met Donghyuck, so dealing with it constantly from someone who was supposed to be his friend was draining.

Jisung knew an apology would make Donghyuck feel better, but he didn’t understand why Donghyuck was the one whose feelings had to be cared for right now. Not when he was the one constantly dealing with those annoying comments.

He kept working on his assignment before he decided to go out; it was a bit too late to be out, but he didn’t care. He needed to grab some groceries, and late-night trips always sort of excited him, minus the fear of getting into danger.

He threw on some sweats and peered into Donghyuck’s room to find the older at his console again, playing more games. Jisung shook his head, wondering how he got through university when he dedicated so much time to gaming. Jisung did admire him for it a bit because he knew he certainly wouldn’t be able to survive if he sacrificed so much studying time for games. 

The walk to the store was short but cold. Jisung wished he had grabbed a jacket before he stepped into the cold and went too far from his flat to turn back. 

He stepped into the small store and walked around to grab what he wanted. The song playing through the store was one he could recognise, but only because it played everywhere. The radios always had it playing, and Jisung was growing tired of hearing it so much. 

“Jisung?” A voice said from across the aisle. Jisung looked up from the spot where he was trying to find a can of tomatoes that he buys for his pasta. It was Jaemin. Jisung smiled and waved, walking up to his friend.

“What are you doing here so late?” Jisung asked.

“I could ask you the same,” Jaemin said, “I’m here with my roommate, we always shop at night because it isn’t so busy. Are you here alone?”

  
  
Jisung nodded, looking around for Jaemin’s roommate but not seeing him. The store was practically empty, so Jisung wondered where he could be and why he wasn’t with Jaemin. Jaemin seemed to notice Jisung looking around so he intervened.

“He’s just grabbing milk from the dairy section,” Jaemin said, “I’m supposed to be getting the pasta packets, but I saw you so I thought I’d say hi.”

  
  
“Well, hi.” Jisung chuckled, “I’m trying to find the canned tomatoes I always get, but I think they’re out. I might need to grab another brand to use now.”

The two picked up a conversation for a few more minutes, just casual small talk floating through the air of the quiet store. Jisung noticed someone approaching Jaemin and assumed it was his roommate because they had milk cartons in their hand. 

“Hey Jaem,” They said, “Did you get the pasta?”

  
  
They placed the milk into the basket Jaemin was holding which Jisung only noticed now. Jisung felt a bit bad that he held Jaemin back from shopping, but Jaemin had approached him first so he brushed the guilt away. 

“Not yet, I ran into my friend that I’ve been telling you about,” Jaemin said, angling his body so Jisung could see his friend without Jaemin’s body blocking him, “This is Jeno, Jisung.”

“Hi, Jeno.” Jisung waved with a smile. Jeno waved back with an adorable eye smile, and Jisung wondered if his eyes always did that when he smiled. It was endearing. 

“I’ll see you around?” Jaemin asked, turning back to Jisung. 

“Yeah, see you.” Jisung provided a tight-lipped grin before going back to his shopping while the pair walked away from his aisle, Jaemin’s hand in Jeno’s, so they could finish their shopping together.

Jisung quickly finished his shopping and paid for his things before walking back home. The sky was cloudy and grey, but it still looked so pretty, and Jisung admired it during his walk back to his dorm. He’s always loved the sky, and how far it extends, and how it can be so many different hues at once.

He loved pink skies the most, especially when they held a pretty orange at their horizon. They always made him feel so blessed to be on this Earth and to experience such beautiful things from the nature around him. 

When he walked back into his dorm, he started packing away the groceries into the kitchen. The lights in the hallway were off, so Jisung assumed that Donghyuck had gone to bed for the night, although it was rare that he slept so early. Usually, the boy went to bed when the sun was rising. 

As Jisung was packing the items away, a door opened and the padding of feet was heard through the small house. Jisung looked up and saw Donghyuck walking towards him, sliding on top of the counter.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” He started, “Can you help me understand what I did to upset you?”

  
  
Jisung sighed, “Well, I thought it was quite clear but whenever you tease me or bug me into liking someone, it isn’t funny at all,” Jisung put down his items to look Donghyuck in the eye, “I’m aromantic Donghyuck. I don’t get crushes the way you do, and whenever you tease me about this stuff I just feel like shit.”

  
  
“Oh,” Jisung had never seen Donghyuck look so small before, “I’m sorry. I won’t do that anymore. You didn’t refrain from telling me because I kept acting like that though, right?”

  
  
Jisung shrugged, “I don’t think that matters anymore, I’ve told you now.” He moved around the kitchen, taking things from the bags on the floor and putting them in the pantry or fridge, as Donghyuck stayed on the counter, swinging his legs.

  
  
Donghyuck nodded, looking around the kitchen, “Want help putting things away?”

Donghyuck jumped off the counter to help his roommate after he nodded and smiled. The atmosphere between the pair felt a bit more comfortable for Jisung now. He felt like he might be able to have actual conversations with Donghyuck going forward without feeling like he’s going to end up emotionally drained afterwards.

It’s not because Jisung was ashamed of being aromantic; it was just tiring to be reminded that so many people experience something that he can’t, even if he forced it. It scared him sometimes because he had expectations on himself to one day get married, but he was slowly unlearning those expectations and instead, focusing on himself. 

He was still learning about his identity, but he was at least glad that he had a stepping stone to figuring himself out. After years of being confused, even one word goes a long way. 

Jisung went to sleep that night, feeling content that he’d come out to Donghyuck. He decided at the next meeting for the LGBTQ+ club, he’d come out to them too. He just prayed that they’d be as accepting as Donghyuck was.

—

Jisung entered the meeting with Donghyuck beside him, but he took a seat next to Jaemin immediately. Jaemin had Jeno with him today, which hadn’t happened before.

“Oh, hi Jeno.” Jisung greeted, “Are you joining the club?”

  
  
Jeno nodded, “Jaemin dragged me along.”

  
  
Jaemin smiled, “After lots and lots of whining, I finally convinced him.”

  
  
Jisung chuckled, paying attention to the speakers at the front. They were talking about upcoming pride events, but Jisung knew he couldn’t attend any because of exams that were coming in a month or two. 

Later on into the meeting, Jaemin stood up at the front and started to talk to the group about himself and his experiences. The group listened intently, smiling at the boy who was brave enough to discuss something that goes underrepresented even in an LGBTQ+ group. Some of the things he was saying, even Jisung didn’t know, but it made him feel warm.

“And lastly, this is Jeno, my roommate,” Jaemin said, extending his hand out to usher Jeno to the front with him, “We’re actually in a queerplatonic relationship, and have been for a year now.”

  
  
Someone raised their hand and asked what a queerplatonic relationship was. Jisung was wondering too, but he didn’t want to interrupt Jaemin. He seemed like he was well prepared, so the question didn’t stump him; instead, he answered swiftly.

“It’s specifically a relationship for aromantic people and people on the aromantic spectrum who want a relationship with someone who’s more significant in their life than a regular friend. Not to say that friendships are less important. Our relationship just isn’t platonic but it also isn’t romantic; we live together and we invest in lots of things together that I wouldn’t invest in with friends.”

  
  
They nodded and willed Jaemin to continue. Jisung swore he saw Jaemin’s shoulders relax when he didn’t get any negative comments in response to his explanation. Jisung smiled and saw Donghyuck smiling at him from across the room. 

Jisung discreetly moved to sit next to Donghyuck.

“Hey, you enjoying this?” He asked. Jisung nodded and patted Donghyuck’s leg. This was nice. This atmosphere made Jisung feel safe and accepted. He finally felt good about himself and his attraction — or lack of attraction in this case.

“I’m learning more about myself, so it’s nice. Also, I never knew what a queerplatonic relationship was, so now that’s something to look into and maybe consider.” Jisung whispered.

Donghyuck nodded, and they finished their conversation there, paying attention to Jaemin again. Except now, Jeno was talking and introducing himself to the group.

“Hi, I’m Jeno, so as you know Jaemin is aromantic and we’re in a queerplatonic relationship together. A bit more about me though is that I’m not aromantic,” Jeno nervously chuckled, “I’m actually gay, and asexual, but a relationship for me is just something shared with my favourite person, and Jaemin has definitely become my favourite person after knowing him since we were kids.”

  
  
Everyone cooed at Jeno’s statement, and Jaemin laughed as Jeno’s cheeks turned red. Jisung could tell that Jeno wasn’t used to the attention of a crowd like this, but he was enjoying watching the two interact. He could see that they had something special and beautiful, even a small smile made the other visibly light up. 

They took a seat again next to Jisung and Donghyuck after they’d finished talking, and Jisung congratulated them. Jaemin smiled at the both of them, but Jisung didn’t know if Donghyuck and Jaemin knew each other. When they picked up a conversation casually, he realised that they’d probably talked at the meetings before, maybe even before Jisung joined the university. 

When the meeting ended, Jisung dismissed himself to walk to his next class. He only had two more today, and then he planned to go home and start studying for his exams.

He always studied far in advance so he could allow his brain to become a sponge to the information, and so by the time his exams rolled around, he would be familiar with all the material. He did make a mental note to stop at the uni’s cafeteria so he could order a coffee and maybe a cupcake afterward though; he needed something to keep himself going. 

After his classes, he trudged into his house and flopped onto the couch. Donghyuck was in the kitchen, making dinner for both of them. The latter heard Jisung enter and yelled at him to come into the kitchen and help.

“What are you making?” Jisung asked.

“Butter chicken,” He said, “Can you set the table and make some drinks? I’m just about to dish up the food. We can finally eat together.”

  
  
Jisung smiled, grabbing the cutlery and placing it on the table before taking a seat. He stared out the window, looking at the court in front of the campus. People were walking everywhere, but it wasn’t as busy as it was during the day. By now, lots of people were either in their rooms or at the local pubs getting drunk on a Thursday. He quickly went to his room to place his coffee and cupcake down before sitting at the dinner table again.

“Did you have any classes today?” Jisung asked when Donghyuck sat down and gave him his plate of food.

“Yeah, but they were all before the meeting earlier, so I cleaned up a bit when I got back. Jaemin popped around but didn’t realise you weren’t home but he stayed for a while and we talked.”

  
  
“Oh okay! What did you two talk about?” Jisung conversed, enjoying the domesticity of eating dinner with his friend while the noises from outside acted as background music for their conversation. Jisung liked this atmosphere.

“Not much. School, assignments, the meetings — he talked about you for a bit too,” Donghyuck said. “He’s grateful to have made a friend like you.”

  
  
Jisung smiled sheepishly. Jaemin hadn’t told him that before, but hearing it from Donghyuck was nice too. 

They continued eating their food in comfortable silence, and Donghyuck hummed occasionally when he didn’t have food in his mouth. Jisung noticed it was a habit of his that he did often, but he kind of liked it. It provided a nice replacement sound to their voices.

Jisung put his plate in the sink when he was done, and thanked Donghyuck for the food. He was still finishing up the scraps on his plate as Jisung walked out of the room, but moments later, he placed his plate in the sink and waddled into the lounge room to watch TV for the rest of the night.

Jisung retired into his bedroom, informing his roommate that he had assignments to finish before he’d start studying. He only had a few things due next week, so he spent his evening diligently finishing them. 

He moved onto organising his study notes for the next day around eleven at night. He didn’t have any classes on Fridays, so he planned to spend most of his time doing some light studying. 

Donghyuck didn’t have classes on Friday either except for two in the evening, and Jisung wanted to take him somewhere so they could hang out. Maybe the arcade that the university had on the other side of campus that the computer tech students designed a few years back and got permission from the university to build.

He eventually crashed in his bed around two in the morning and heard Donghyuck turn his console on as soon as he got into his bed. He smiled at the noise before falling asleep, feeling content and full from the beautiful dinner that Donghyuck had prepared.

—

“Hey, wanna go to the arcade?” Jisung walked into Donghyuck’s room, finding him under his covers. “Ya, wake up, it’s two in the afternoon.”

  
  
“Ugh, why…” He whined. The sun was shining through his window, so Jisung didn’t bother turning his light on.

“Did you even hear what I asked you?” Jisung ripped the sheets off his friend and laughed when he tried to pull them back over himself. “C’mon Donghyuck, I let you sleep in long enough. I wanna go to the arcade with you.” He whined, dragging out his syllables.

“Ugh, fine.” Donghyuck grumbled, climbing out of bed and fixing his hair, “Is it really two?”

  
  
Jisung nodded, “What time did you go to sleep?”

  
  
Donghyuck shrugged, “Probably around seven.”

  
  
Jisung scoffed, walking out of the room and telling his friend to get ready so they could leave before three o’clock. Donghyuck sighed, grabbing clothes out of his closet to take with him into the bathroom while he showered.

Jisung went back into his room and grabbed a thin jacket as well as his phone and wallet. The arcade was free, as it was only open to the uni students and was supposed to be a place for them to unwind and relieve stress from assignments and their busy lives. 

When he left his room, he heard the shower running so he went into the kitchen and grabbed a fruit bar to snack on while he scrolled through social media apps on his phone. 

Donghyuck came out moments later with his clothes on and his hair dripping at the tips. He walked into the kitchen and scared Jisung from behind.

“Do you want to give me a heart attack?” Jisung glared after recovering from the scare.

Donghyuck laughed, grabbing his phone that was charging next to their toaster. Jisung wondered why he charged it out here when he had charging points in his room.

“Are you ready to go?” Donghyuck asked. Jisung nodded and threw the wrapper of his snack in the bin before trailing behind his friend as they left their dorm, starting the ten-minute walk across campus to the arcade.

Jisung hadn’t been to the arcade before; the only time he’d been near it was when he went on a small tour of the campus before he started attending classes. He didn’t go inside the arcade, but his tour group passed it on the way to the science department.

When they arrived, Donghyuck ran towards a couple of games that Jisung didn’t even recognise, but he played them with Donghyuck anyway.

Jisung ended up losing in most games, but it was fine. He was having fun, and Donghyuck looked happy so Jisung was happy. Plus, Donghyuck wasn’t making any of the tiny comments that irked Jisung anymore. It comforted Jisung that his friend was willing to make changes in his behaviour just for his comfort. 

An hour into their games, someone approached them and started chatting to Donghyuck. Jisung felt a bit left out because he didn’t know the person, whereas Donghyuck seemed to be close friends with them. They talked for a bit while Jisung distracted himself with the game in front of him. 

“Is this your boyfriend or something?” The person asked.

Jisung looked up like a deer in headlights, opening and closing his mouth like a fish as the statement registered in his brain. Donghyuck blushed a bit before laughing and declining.

“This is my roommate Jisung,” Donghyuck said, “Jisung this is Jaehyun, my older brother.”

  
  
“Oh hello,” That surprised Jisung. He didn’t realise Donghyuck had a brother, “Do you attend classes here?”

  
  
“Yep, this is my last year though, so try not to get too attached.” The brown-haired boy winked.

Donghyuck scoffed, “You’re so desperate. Jisung is aromantic, so he won’t get attached. Wait, is it ok for me to tell him that?”

  
  
He turned to Jisung with a small look of panic on his face. Jisung laughed and reassured him that it was fine. Jaehyun watched the interaction with a small smile on his face.

“Well, have fun guys!” He said before turning on his heels and leaving the arcade.

“Sorry if he made you uncomfortable,” Donghyuck said.

“It’s fine; it’s kinda funny, to be honest,” Jisung replied. “I’ve never been flirted with before.”

  
  
Donghyuck sighed, mumbling something about how it was embarrassing that his older brother was the first person to flirt with Jisung. Jisung laughed before nudging his friend to pay his attention as he started another multiplayer game. 

They headed back to their dorm when it was getting close to six in the evening. They didn’t even realise the time had gone by so fast until one of the workers told them that the arcade would be closing soon. Their dorm was a bit cold when they got back, so Jisung put the heater on to heat up the dorm.

They weren’t exactly made of money, so keeping the heater on for a long time wasn’t a good idea. Jisung noted to turn it off later.

“Do you want dinner here or out?”

  
  
“I feel like some takeout tonight, maybe Macca’s?” Jisung suggested. Donghyuck nodded and grabbed his wallet.

“I’ll pay.” He said, dragging Jisung out with him. They got into Donghyuck’s car and he drove to the closest Macca’s in the area. There was one close to the university as Australia had McDonald’s restaurants scattered everywhere, and their huge signs were easy to spot from a distance. 

They entered and sat in a secluded corner after ordering their food.

“I can’t believe this is our definition of fine dining now,” Donghyuck chuckled, sitting opposite Jisung.

Jisung laughed along, getting comfortable in his seat. They chatted a bit as they waited for their food. The place didn’t have many people inside it, except for the occasional family coming inside and leaving after they got their meals. 

“What’s the chances of someone assuming we’re on some shitty low budget date?” Jisung jokes. He didn’t deem this a date of course, but from past experiences with being alone with friends, there’s bound to be someone who assumes they’re on a date. 

“Nah, Macca’s employees don’t give two shits to make comments about customers' lives, especially the ones on night shifts,” Donghyuck said.

“You sound like you have some experience with Macca’s employees then.”

  
  
“Well, that’s probably because I used to work at the one near my house during my last years of high school.” Donghyuck chuckled.

“Oh, that’s kinda cool,” Jisung said.

Their food turned up and interrupted their conversation but as soon as the employee placed their food down and left, they picked up their conversation again.

“See, I told you that they don’t give two fucks about us,” Donghyuck whispered.

“Why are you whispering?” Jisung giggled, chewing on his chips.

“Swearing inside a Macca’s is the number one way to get kicked out, didn’t you know that? It’s common knowledge Jisung.”

  
  
“Why would that be common knowledge when it’s always filled with bogans these days?” Jisung laughed.

“Are you calling me a bogan?”

  
  
“Maybe.”

  
  
Jisung laughed again when a chip was thrown at him. Donghyuck pouted and stole one of his chips to compensate for the one he lost when he chose to throw it at Jisung. They kept eating comfortably, trying to not bring too much attention to themselves. The last thing they needed was to be banned from the closest Macca’s to their dorm.

When they finished their burgers, they grabbed their drinks and piled into Donghyuck’s car again. Donghyuck drove home while Jisung fiddled with the radio stations. He switched between at least five different stations on the quick ride back to the uni’s car park.

“I’m going to bed,” Jisung announced when he got back into the dorm, beelining straight for his bedroom. It had been a long day for him with studying since the early hours of the morning until he woke Donghyuck up and dragged him to the arcade. 

“Sleep well,” Donghyuck yelled after him, closing the front door and before heading to his room to prepare for his late-night classes. 

Jisung finally fell asleep around midnight in the comfort of his warm bed, while Donghyuck retired into his bed after returning from his classes. 

Donghyuck laid in his bed for a while, wanting the space beside him to be occupied. 

He decided that he’d go to the pub tomorrow and invite the senior Mark who he’s been crushing on for some time now for some drinks. He suspected that Mark liked him back as he always flirted with him and sometimes touched him in places that friends don’t purposely touch. 

—

Jisung was stacked with revision.

His exams were coming soon and all he had time for was going to his classes, attending the LGBTQ+ meetings, and studying. Donghyuck tried to pull him out of the house some days, but Jisung declined and instead encouraged him to hang out with Mark.

Jisung met Mark a weekend ago after he came home to Donghyuck making out with the senior on the couch. It surprised him at first, but when he learnt that Mark and Donghyuck had a thing going for a while he felt a bit at ease that Donghyuck hadn’t invited a complete stranger over.

It was Saturday afternoon now, and Jisung hadn’t moved from his room. His desk was stacked with papers containing syllabuses and notes he’d taken in classes. 

Donghyuck knocked on his door and poked his head in.

“Hey man, have you eaten yet today?”

Jisung shook his head, “Not hungry.”

Donghyuck walked into the room, closing the door behind him and pulling the pen out of Jisung’s hand. He grabbed the younger’s shoulders and diverted his attention from his studies.

“Hey. Your exams are in like four weeks Jisung,” He said, “You don’t need to be pressuring yourself into doing so much already. Take a break, I’ve made lunch.”

“I thought you were going to hang out with Mark?” Jisung followed his roommate down the hallway towards their kitchen.

“He’s here, and so are Jaemin and Jeno.” Donghyuck smiled, going into the kitchen to hand Jisung his plate.

Jisung took it and sat at the seat next to Jaemin. Donghyuck sat at the head, opposite Jeno, whilst Mark sat opposite Jisung. 

The sandwiches that Donghyuck prepared were delicious. Some had eggs and lettuce, whilst others had ham and cheese, and there was even some with chicken pieces, lettuce, and tomatoes.

Jisung enjoyed everyone’s presence as they chatted through their afternoon. Eventually, they decided to head down to the pub together and use the pool table that was provided opposite the bar.

The bartender was Jaemin’s friend, so they sat around him first and chatted with the guy, whose name was Renjun.

Eventually, they decided to head to the pool table and play in pairs. Jisung was alone though because Jeno and Jaemin paired up whilst Mark and Donghyuck paired up.

“Hey, wanna play with us?” Jaemin asked a random stranger sitting nearby who looked around their age, “Our friend needs a partner and we don’t know anyone here.”

The orange-haired guy shrugged and put his drink down. “Yeah, why not.”

They all grabbed their equipment before deciding who’d go first. Jisung ended up learning that his partner’s name was Chenle, and he was close friends with the bartender. 

Chenle also proved himself to be extremely good at playing pool. Jisung, on the other hand, didn’t have much experience with the game, so it was a bit of a task for him. 

Thankfully, Chenle was nice and didn’t make any snarky comments about the way Jisung played. Chenle actually went out of his way to help Jisung position correctly and learn how to hit the white ball effectively so that the other balls would go through the nets at the edges of the table.

“Why is this so hard when it looks so simple?” Jisung whined. Everyone laughed at his words before continuing their game.

They sat at the bar again when they finished their game, which Jisung and Chenle managed to win because of Chenle’s skills. 

Renjun was still bartending, but the rest of the pub was pretty empty so the seven of them gathered around and chatted for a while. Jisung felt really happy as he went home with Donghyuck and processed the events of that afternoon. 

Instead of spending the rest of the day cooped up in his room with his studying, he’d made some new friends and let loose a bit.

He was grateful to Donghyuck for that.

Later that evening, Donghyuck emerged from his bedroom to join Jisung on the couch.

“Hey, I found this documentary about amatonormativity and I’m pretty sure the comments I used to make are considered amatonormative.” He said.

“What are you talking about?” Jisung asked. He’d never heard of amatonormativity.

“You should watch it! It was really good, I think you’d like it,” Donghyuck said, “But anyway, amatonormativity is kind of similar to heteronormativity except it’s regarding romance in general. So, whenever I made those comments pushing you towards romance and romantic attraction, I was being amatonormative.”

Jisung smiled, “You really went out of your way to watch a documentary about that for me?”

“Well, yeah of course. I felt bad that I pressured you into something when I should’ve known better.”

“Well, I can’t deny that but I’m really happy that you handled it maturely after I told you how I was feeling,” Jisung said, “It really means a lot to me. The effort you put in to make sure I’m comfortable means a lot too.”

Donghyuck smiled sheepishly, shyly turning away from his friend. Jisung smiled back, a chuckle escaping his lips at his friends’ actions.

“Anyway, tell me about Mark!” Jisung exclaimed.

“Well, I think I’m going to ask him to be my boyfriend after exams.” Donghyuck blushed.

Jisung smiled, showing excitement for his friend. Donghyuck had been talking about Mark nonstop for a while, but recently he hadn’t been saying much; Jisung was wondering if something changed or if Donghyuck lost interest. But after Donghyuck went into a full-blown rant about how he hopes Mark says yes because he’s been working up the courage for a while now, Jisung realised that his friend was definitely in deep for Mark.

Jisung smiled at the thought.

He was happy for his friends and their love lives. He may never have one, but at the end of the day, he was content with his life and the way it is.

He’d managed to make good friends, get a stable spot in a prestigious university, find a club that accepted him for who he was, and make a friend who helped him to figure out who he was.

Jisung still had a long way to go, but the tip of the iceberg had fallen and his journey to finding the answers to his sexuality had come to an end.

Or at least he thought it had, until Donghyuck asked him if being aromantic meant no sex either. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed! please leave kudos & a comment
> 
> also i considered a second chapter to explore jisung’s sexual orientation but as he’s a minor i will not be doing that and this is unfortunately the end of the road for this story. but maybe in the future i’ll write it, just not while jisung’s a minor!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/aurensle?s=21) [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/aurensle)


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